Monday, January 23, 2012

Hijab or no Hijab

sometimes i wear a hijab, sometimes i don't. and my family is ok with it! my friends are ok with it. they don't find me hypocrite for doing this. but i find myself confused!!!! because i can't really decide what i want to do. i like myself without hijab!!!! i look pretty to myself, [personally i don't care how i appear to others, selfish!!!!!] so khair.

when i started wearing a hijab, that was to identify myself as muslim, but then being proud of myself and all feminist ideas caught up with me. and i got confused!!! to wear or not to wear!!!!!

may be it is nothing that important, but it was great confusion to me. [i am anything but a feminist] khair again. so i got this sms today that a woman would take four men with her to hell, her father, husband, brother, and son   if she is not covering her hair!!! [it said hadees]

so well, i thought personally, i don't care what happens to me after i die [well, i think i should] but i really care for what happens to my father because of me. as a child i had this fantasy of sunning away, but i never ran away because i have never wanted my father to suffer because of me!!! [why should he answer for me running away??? ask me!!! but you know ppl, how they are.] khair the same applies here. i m not scared of what people will think, i am not scared of what happens to me, but i really am scared of causing pain and suffering to my father.

and here i would like to add one more thing, hijab or no hijab, it doesn't make difference to me, because my essence won't change, i wont change. so let it be. i would wear a hijab to make Allah happy and to be able to let my father rest in peace!!!

:)

Sugandh

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