Unsolicited Attention is Harassment!

I went back to bank after three or four months. I wasn't very confident in going to bank. The reason was very simple, I didn't want to face the man who was calling me from the bank...

I go to this branch because it is near where I live, I don't have an account in this branch, but I need to deposit my checks, thus I will visit this branch from time to time. If you are one of the people who has worked in bank or held a bank account, you would know that these people have a lot of our information - practically our NIC number. On top of that we are required to fill out a deposit slip with other information at the time of the submission of the check.

So this employee of the bank asked me to get an account in this branch to make things easier. I said I will consider it (for a while I was really serious about that, but procrastination kept me from doing it). A month passed and another, and I didn't do it. One night I get a message on whatsapp saying "Hi!". I had recently switched a job and was making a lot of new contacts, so I wasn't sure who was messaging it, and I had to check the profile picture to ascertain the scribe of the text. The picture was of the bank employee. I ignored the message and blocked the number as I didn't want to be contacted again. The important thing was the timing of the text, it was sent somewhere near midnight. After I blocked the number, the other day I receive a phone call, recognizing the number I ignore it. Timings around 2 in the afternoon, another phone call an hour or so later, and ignored again. The phone calls stopped. I was suggested by my brother to make a complain to the bank manager, but I didn't. I should have.

So a few weeks pass in between and there was peace and silence, I forgot the incident and very conveniently forgot the number as well. And then, I get a call, not recognizing the number I answered the phone and - boom - the same person is calling; timing, around 6 in the evening. He introduced himself by saying "I wanted to discuss the opening of your bank account." My reply, "Since when do you call people after office hours from your personal phones to convince them about the bank accounts. I find it highly unethical that you are calling me at this time, and it is my decision whether I want to open an account at your branch or not. I don't want to be contacted in future." Thus I hung up.

I haven't received any calls after that, but that one call somehow, stopped me from visiting the branch, therefore making it very difficult for me to handle my own account - as I was either going to the branches that were away from my home, and costed me time and fare to reach there. I still fear someone keeping an eye on my transactions. Simply, I was scared of facing that man. I did not want his attention (I am very selective about whose attention I want). I didn't want to receive extra nice treatment or any phone calls.

I now realize why Sharmeen Obaid Chinoy found that Doctor's move annoying. This seemingly little incident had such negative effect on my freedom of handling my bank transactions with confidence and made me suffer from this inexplicable fear. This seemingly little phone call on his part, which he must have forgotten about, caused me anxiety and bouts of depression for few months. Until yesterday, when I took a day off from studying, talked myself into going to the bank, considered a possibility of going to the branch ten minutes drive away from home, or depositing it the next day at some other branch on my way to work, and asking my brother to deposit it for me, I decided to go. I asked a friend to practically tell me to go. And I went. And nothing happened. But I was scared. My heart raced the entire time (25 minutes to be exact). I am a grown, independent, and a very confident woman. If this causes me so much trouble, just imagine what it will be causing the girls who are just starting out.

Men need to understand that if we smile, we are being kind and not flirting, if I write my phone number it is not to be called on, we can make our own decisions and not be advised by every tom, dick and harry.

this is harassment and this needs to stop!

Sugandh

Jeaye Sassui

Sassui was daughter of a king, who didn't want her, because someone predicted that she would marry a man from another cast (or a muslim), so he puts her in a box and send her adrift in the river. She was caught by a washerman near bhambhor. He raised her like a daughter of his own. As it happens, she was very pretty - thus the name Sassui (meaning moon) - When she grew up she helped her father in his business.

One day a passing by prince of Kech Makran- Punhoo -  got a glimpse of her and instantly fell in love. He pretended to be washerman to get close to the Father of Sassui. As it happens, he didn't know anything of trade and damaged the clothes that came to him, he would hide coins in the damaged clothes to keep people from complaining. And one day he ran out of money, but he learnt the trade by then. He asked for Sassui's hand in marriage and was accepted. On his wedding night he admits the truth to Sassui. They both were deeply in love with each other.

And as fate would have it, Punhoo's brothers came looking for him and discovered him washing dirty laundry of other people. They asked him to come back with him, but he refused. so they pretended to accept his wedding and arranged a party for the bride and groom. they drugged the people in party and kidnapped Punhoo and took him back to Kech...

When Sassui wakes up she finds her husband gone. she asks people about him and was told that he was taken back by his brothers. She decides to go in pursuit of her beloved. Her friends tried to dissuade her, but she told them that if they loved her, they would help her find him and not stop him.

She had to cross the mountains and deserts to get to Kech. During her journey she realizes that she has started seeing Punhoo everywhere and that she has turned in him, while looking for him. Eventually she meets a shepherd - who tried to take her for his bride - Sassui prays to be saved from him. The earth opens and takes Sassui inside, thus saving her from the intentions of the shepherd.

On the other hand when Punhoo regained his senses, he realizes that he is not where he ought to be. He runs away again to be united with his wife. On his way to Bhambore, he passes by a grave and sees a man crying. he askes him what is wrong? The person is the shepherd. he tells him that he found a beautiful bride in the desert by she was swallowed by the earth. Punhoo recognizes the corner of the scarf as Sassui's and prays to be reunited with his beloved. The earth opens and take him in too. The shepherd builds a tomb for them...

now listen to this song. feel the pain and desperation of the singer. the lament on the fate of Sassui. Feel love of Sassui for Punhoo. Feel the desperation when asking Sassui to live...

Be Sassui with the song

https://www.facebook.com/nafsband/videos/1196554737144805/?hc_ref=ARRz_n_wnXXugNSGu6buSBGkIvpPfk1I-0VR8Of_fRIcJuM_cVwLmxW7avsu4XYWEk8

The lyrics are translated in the video. Give a shout out to the band for being amazing.
Sugandh

What's my World View???

To my utter shock, I realized that my world view is outdated. Now what exactly is a world view? the simple answer would be, how do you perceive reality? What is real or what is not real?

There are kind of two schools of thoughts, those who believe that reality is objective and it is out there, even if nobody is observing it. There is only one definition of what's real.

the second school of thought believes that the reality is subjective and it very much depends upon who is observing, therefore, there are multiple realities, because there are multiple observers.

Positivism is not the only way to go about things. Even if you can't prove it, it might still be true!!

Cheers
Sugandh

On Being a Good Neighbor

I think of myself as a good neighbor. The only time I lived alone people only found out that I existed when I was moving out.

I keep my music low (though I play it all the time), I don't litter and properly leave my garbage outside my door to be collected by the garbage collector. I pay my bills on time, and I generally keep to myself.

But I am not sure what's up with my neighbors. In every city that I have lived and for as long as I remember, I had kinda bad neighbors. they crowded around our door and never moved away even when they saw us coming (i would want people to leave my doorway when I want to pass), throwing garbage outside our door, as if it was some kind of trashcan, noisy, and overall ill mannered and people you would want to avoid.

I changed the city, and guess what? bad neighbors followed us here. Until the house was empty, it was nice, but as soon as the family arrived for winters (Thank God! they are seasonal) they produce a heap of garbage (honestly it is none of my business that how much garbage they produce, but they dump it outside my house). they have thrown away all their diapers, pads, and other stuff outside the balcony. which is accumulating on shed of a restaurant (I am planning to talk to the restaurant's manager) and on top of that they have ill mannered children, something between 4 and 15!!! the younger ones are always playing in the corridor and their amusement is ringing the doorbell and running away! all the time, at 3- 4 in the afternoon when we are resting, or at 11 in night, when my mother is about to go to sleep. And there is no reasoning with them. their kids are young, but what's the right age to start training their children about not to irritate or annoy the neighbors (or people in general) if they could enjoy ringing the bell, they could be taught not to do it because it disturbs people.

but how can I expect that from them? when elders can't even be bothered about cleanliness!!! they apparently has a lot of money, because it requires a lot of money to support a certain lifestyle that they enjoy, but they don't have manners and all the money can't buy you manners and education.

when this happens, I remember all the Islamiyat lessons and Ahadees about cleanliness and on importance of being good neighbors.

So, if you are reading this, please make sure that you are a good neighbor. Save someone from writing such a post!

Sugandh