Taste of Silence

My generation in general and I in particular, take pride in saying most of the times whatever we feel like saying to anyone and holding nothing back! but the other day while discovering tracks on my hard drive i came across a ghazal sand by Mehdi Hassan. it started with "Jo chahatay ho, so kehtay ho, chup rehnay ki lazat tum kia jano?" roughly translated to English it will mean that you say whatever you want, You don't know the taste of being silent.

the problem that i face here is translating the word 'lazat', it is not merely taste, it includes ecstasy of knowing something, it includes the taste obviously, the things you feel when you taste, touch, see, listen or smell something and that sends you to the world where nothing parallels it. the way they say that it opens new avenues for you. new feelings, new sensations. the word 'lazat' has various meaning and connotations in Urdu. it is a very rich word that can not be explained away with a single word or phrase.

so when i heard this ghazal - may be after a thousand years - i felt ashamed, tongue tied, dumbfounded by the fact that i actually don't know what it feels like to keep silent. because i have never taken silence as peace so i need noise in background, but why do that noise has to be mine? it should be possible that one listens to something and not respond to it, feel something and not say it. being vocal is not the solution of every problem. i have still not figured out the effect of this single line on me or my way of understanding world and the ability to say whatever i feel like saying. i am trying but for time being i am going to try and keep quiet and for once not say what i feel like saying and see where it takes me.

 Sugandh