Being Clever

it is very hard for me to write!!!!! i just can't simply write things like people do. my writing stop making sense to me after few sentences and i am unable to end a piece logically!!!! :(

the reason i don't write stories for!!! and second thing i am very objective.... no imagination, no sense of humor :(.... things appear to me as they are, until someone points out to me what they actually meant!!!!

now i read a lot, books, magazines, blogs, statements, statuses of my contacts on FB and Twitter, and i wonder how clever they are and i wish to write like them, but alas! i can't, i just simply can't sound witty or sarcastic or anything. but then i realize that that would not be me and if i tried really hard to sound like other people, i would be other people, not me!!!! so from right now, i give up trying to be witty!!!! 

and i'll enjoy being myself!!!

Sugandh

The Conflict Within!!!!!!!

sometimes we don't even realize that there are so many of us inside us!!!!!!!!

until we reach some cross road in our life and we need to take some decision! until we fall in love with a person who contradict us!!!!!!

then only we realize that there are so many of us inside us!!!!!!!!

the two of you inside you keep fighting within you causing a conflict inside you, people outside might think that you are at peace with the world outside you, but it is only you who go through such hell!!!! asking questions and answering them for yourself!!! and never being satisfied with the answer given!!! never reaching a destination, never achieving a goal!!!!!!

the inner war is the most dangerous of all wars!!!!!

and often the two of you are polar opposite of each other. never agreeing on one thing, never loving the same person, never wanting to do the same thing!!!!!

you hate yourself for this!!!! you hate people for thinking of you having no problem!!!! some might see your predicament but they wont understand you!!! thinking this is for attention seeking, self generated problem!!!! whatever, this is the problem!!!! you fighting with you!!!!!

i have not found out yet, what to do with the other me!!!!! the scared me ~ and she has not found out, what to do with me!!!!!! the outspoken one ~ the pretender!!!!!
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human beings are amazing they survive this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sugandh

Getting up!!!!

Life teaches you to pick yourself up, dust yourself down, and start all over again! ~ Sharon Stone


it took me so long to get up and do what i wanted to do!!!!
sometimes when u fail to do what you wanted to do you just give up and lament on ur failures.
this is so easy, to accept things as they are, to accept oneself as a failure, but it is so hard to get up and turn things around!!!! there are many ways to look at one's life, there are many ways to look at your own life!!! from one angle i may find myself a failure, but from a different angle i may find myself as a most successful woman in my own way!!!! it all depends how you see yourself!!!


changing your point of view, your vision and your goal for life is not easy!! when you grow up wanting to be someone, when you have endless conversations with yourself about how u'll behave when you will be that somebody and road mapping everything from your dresses to your accent and your gestures and all of sudden you just can't be what you want to be!!!!!!! it is shocking!!!! 


leave the world alone, you become nobody in your own life, leave people's expectations away, you have not lived upto your own expectations! life is a burden that you carry everyday that you live and death and cowardice and disappearance become the easier things to bear to do!!!!


but this is not life!!!!!! 
'when life give you rain, play in the puddles!'
and someday you decide that enough is enough, i mnot going to stay here and mop for rest of my life!!!!! and you get up, dust yourself down and start all over again! and truly is living life!!!! you look for new you and then you are amazed how many of you are inside you!!!!!!!!! human beings are amazing! they can survive anything!!!!! :)

Sugandh