Setting Up A Kitchen

The most difficult thing that i needed to do when I started living alone was set up my kitchen. Living alone happened in two phases, once when I moved out for studies and once when I got married. 

Setting up kitchen for a single person is relatively easy as it is only you, you are responsible for. Back then, I could cook like three things and lived on those. I would make a huge pot of pasta and eat it for next three meals. At times, I'd have corn flakes for dinner. Afternoons were spent at university - so cooking wasn't a huge part of my life.

In terms of spices, I had the following.

Red chili powder

Black pepper

Salt

Oregano (pasta!)

Ground Coriander seeds

And that's about that.

The second phase was way more different than the previous time. I was responsible for running a grownup home, and I was anything but. I knew the basics. I needed pots and pans, stirrers and spatulas, some containers and that's about that. What I didn't realize that a functional kitchen has much more than I thought it would need. There are pots for cooking rice, meat and vegetables and there is a pot to make sweet dishes or boil milk in. There are different size pots for making tea and smaller pots for warming up food. A frying pan, deep enough for deep frying and a smaller one because the bigger one would take too much oil. a container for oil, plates - a lot of plates.

I bought a chakra belan (a rolling pin and a rolling board) and a container for the flour, but I forgot to but a dish big enough to knead dough. That I bought second time. I also realized that I needed strainers and colanders of different sizes for draining tea, rice, pasta etc. and then there were organizers, a container to store small gadgets - measuring spoons, measuring cups, funnels, a tiny grater and a bottle opener.  On top of that my kitchen doesn't have drawers, so I have to get containers for cutlery and other stuff.

When it came to cooking there are more spices needed than the ones, I was familiar with. For example, I needed whole spices and garam masala and turmeric etc., I needed ginger-garlic paste and soy sauce and chili sauce and mixed herbs, just to make food that I wanted to eat.

Then there were baskets, for fruits and for other things. Packets of pasta, rice, spices, jars for jams, bottles for sauces. Just to keep things organized. It was also necessary for me to train my husband in the art of organization in our kitchen. I don't personally like men who knows nothing about their kitchen and can't find a spoon when needed. 

Sometimes, when I was trying a certain recipe, I would realize that I am missing a certain spice, and I would decide to move ahead without it. The food was edible, and not perfect at all. I would add that spice to the shopping list for next time. I also had to collect recipes that we both enjoyed eating and were easy to cook. 

Through all of this, all I wanted was a list of things for people who were starting new home from scratch. What are the must haves. Here I am making a list from my own experience.

Things to have in a starter kitchen:

1. Depending on people pots of different sizes: for rice/pasta/noodles, for meat and vegetables - things cooked with spices, for sweets and milk/tea. 

2. Strainers and Colanders

3. Baskets for fruits (I have in different sizes)

4. a gridle (tawa)

5. a bowl/platter for kneading dough (I forgot this one)

6. mixing bowls

7. frying pans

8. containers for spices/ lentils/rice/flour etc.

9. Containers for storing half used packets of stuff.

10. spatulas and turners.

11. Wooden spoons for cooking and mixing

12. beaters and whisks

13. plates and glasses

14. serving bowls

15. cutlery

16. serving spoons

17. Rolling pin and rolling board/mat

18. Cutting board

19. Knives different sizes and knife sharpener

20. Blender and a grinder

21. pestle and mortar

22. measuring cups, measuring spoons, measuring jug

23. Water bottles,

24. Oil bottle/jug

This list is not at all exhaustive. Depending on your lifestyle and the kind of cooking you do, things can be added or subtracted. 

If you are reading this and making a new home, I hope that your home brings you happiness and joy and you enjoy setting up your kitchen and using it.

Thoughts on Being Famous and Self-Promotion

I have never wanted to be famous. I have never wanted anyone to know me. I have wanted attention from a handful of people in my entire life. I crave anonymity and solitude. But for the last few days, I have been thinking about self promotion a lot.

I have been seeing these people write articles about things that there are thousands articles on. I have been seeing people at work list the tasks that are everyday maintenance work as things they did. I have been noticing people post their pictures with famous people to assert their importance and flaunt their knowledge. There is so much self promotion around me that I have been feeling inadequate. May be it is the first time I am seeing people who know more than I ever will or they are just good at saying that they know more when in reality all they do is know as little as I do.

This begs the question: what do I want to do in this situation? Change who I fundamentally am (was) because I do crave recognition for my work and skills, or just let things be and continue doing what I have always been doing (not care for anything).

Life has so much been about learning new things every year, but the most difficult are the things that one learns about oneself. There you are secure in thinking that you are basically a good person and not need change, but then you come across a scenario that you never thought about and you question the philosophy that you have painstakingly curated throughout the life. Your fundamental beliefs about yourself change and you realize that you are not who you thought you are.

So this scenario around me - where everyone is blowing their own trumpet - where does it leave me? Do I still need to be anonymous as I always wanted to be, or do I change and ask for recognition in the gaudiest of the ways possible (for me) to get the recognition that I crave.

Sugandh

A Room of One's Own

When Ahsan and I were looking for home, even before we were formally married, i insisted to have a home with an extra room, so that i could have a room of my own, where i could be as wild as i want to be. That wouldn't be accessed and judged by anyone coming from outside. A room that will be the implementation of my wildest dreams and the finest of the luxuries that i so desired. Room that is reflection of my thoughts, ideas, creativity and would house my women, my dolls and statues. 

I have that room now. It is not yet as wild as i want it to be, but I'm slowly getting there. It is my refuge and manifestation of me. I love my entire house but i love my room the most.

The Fiasco of Walnut Halwa

If you have known me for a long time, you would know that i have very less affection for cooking, but I love new tastes, particularly if they are sweet. I will do anything to keep the meetha in my life. Even if I have to cook it, when no one is around to make it for me.

When I was getting married, I got a basket full of dried fruits and nuts. I ate almost all of them except for this huge bag of walnuts. I tried eating them, but I am not hugely fond of them. What I am fond of is something called "habshi halwa" - which is a mithai made of walnuts. [we siblings used to call us "qeemay wali mithai" - mince mithai :D] Therefore, I called my mother and asked her if I could make something out of the walnuts that have been sitting in my fridge for two months now and she suggested that I make "Walnut Halwa" and she whatsapped the recipe, and here begins the fiasco that was my akhrot ka halwa because of the badly written recipe. [Remember that I am not an active cook and need clearly written recipes to cook]

After I gathered the ingredients in many iterations [because I just set up house and had no idea how many maslas should be stocked in the kitchen] I set about to make akhrot ka halwa one fine Sunday evening.

So here are the ingredients:

• Walnuts 500 g [didn't have any weighing scales, so my saint of a sister told me that 500 g are approximately 4 cups]
• Semolina ½ cup
• Desi Ghee ½ cup
• Green Cardamom Seeds 8-10 seeds
• Sugar 1 cup
• Milk 1 cup
• Khoya 100 g [Amma told me that if I don't have any khoya I can use milk powder so I used olpers milk powder. They come in convenient sachets]
• Butter 100 g
• Dry Nuts 50 g

The cooking seemed fairly easy.

Step 1: In a pot, add Desi ghee, green cardamom seeds and sauté it. 

            Hmmm look easy. Since I grew up among wonderful cooks, I remember the term "choti ilaichi ko ghee mein karkaraein," that's practically a sound that will come from the pan when you saute the green cardamom sees.

Step 2: Now add, walnuts, semolina, sugar, milk and cook well for 4-5 minutes.
             Here is where my problem started... I added the walnuts to the oil WITHOUT grinding them. That is what was missing from the details of the ingredients for a total novice cook like me. Second thing that was missing was how long am I supposed to fry the walnuts? Am I supposed to  add all the ingredients at the same time? What?

So I fried the walnuts, and then they were not getting any softer and I started panicking. SO I decided to add the suji (semolina) and sugar and to my horror I realized that the walnuts are not going to get soft themselves. I need to do something and by then I was dealing with this:

 So I turned off the fire and started pounding on the walnut, semolina and sugar mixture in my frying pan to break them into smaller pieces. and I pounded and pounded and till I was sure that the pieces are small enough to make the halwa soft enough to call halwa! And then I added milk and boo the milk quantity that was written was not enough to get the consistency that was show in the video, so I increased the quantity by half.

Step 3: Afterward, add butter, Khoya and dry nuts.
             After I have saved the halwa from being a total disaster, I added the last ingredients and voila I was done. and here is the picture of my halwa that I enjoyed along with Ahsan and our landlord!

 So, in conclusion if you are a novice cook, please make sure that you have gone through the recipe and video tutorial multiple times to notice everything. Ask plenty of questions from anyone who knows about cooking. So if you are making this akhrot ka halwa please make sure that you grind your akhrot coarsely in the beginning and save yourselves from the panicky twenty minutes of your life!

Sugandh

Living with Two Mugs

I got married and moved to a new home! I have exactly two coffee mugs. One for me and one for my husband. Life sometimes is very difficult with only two coffee mugs. I have exactly one of everything in our kitchen. One frying pan, one pot, one saucepan and one saucepan for tea. I have a coffee maker, and a blender/grinder set. and few of the turners and stuff like that [setting up a new home is kinda fun and daunting at the same time.] Things that are absolute necessity and nothing over the top or extraordinary.

the temptation to have more of everything, to be able to have multiple choices and to buy more stuff is very real. To fill the house with more of everything and have multiple options will be awesome. but is it a way of life? how much is too much? how many of each should I have? Where do I stop. These are the questions that I want to answer before I buy more of something.

having watched the documentaries on de-cluttering and minimalism I cannot buy any more mugs than the ones that I already have. Sometimes, the temptation is high, especially when I don't feel like washing the ones that I already have. Having seen those documentaries I have learnt that mostly things accumulate when we are being lazy. It is very enchanting to have an endless supply of the coffee mugs. I can just use and use and use them, without worrying about washing them until I run out of the very last one. And here I stop. I will eventually run out of the mugs and I have to wash the ones that I have. So, on to the lessons learnt from Marie Kondo and the minimalist guys - I'll only keep what is absolute necessary and wash the dishes regularly.

Sugandh

Unsolicited Attention is Harassment!

I went back to bank after three or four months. I wasn't very confident in going to bank. The reason was very simple, I didn't want to face the man who was calling me from the bank...

I go to this branch because it is near where I live, I don't have an account in this branch, but I need to deposit my checks, thus I will visit this branch from time to time. If you are one of the people who has worked in bank or held a bank account, you would know that these people have a lot of our information - practically our NIC number. On top of that we are required to fill out a deposit slip with other information at the time of the submission of the check.

So this employee of the bank asked me to get an account in this branch to make things easier. I said I will consider it (for a while I was really serious about that, but procrastination kept me from doing it). A month passed and another, and I didn't do it. One night I get a message on whatsapp saying "Hi!". I had recently switched a job and was making a lot of new contacts, so I wasn't sure who was messaging it, and I had to check the profile picture to ascertain the scribe of the text. The picture was of the bank employee. I ignored the message and blocked the number as I didn't want to be contacted again. The important thing was the timing of the text, it was sent somewhere near midnight. After I blocked the number, the other day I receive a phone call, recognizing the number I ignore it. Timings around 2 in the afternoon, another phone call an hour or so later, and ignored again. The phone calls stopped. I was suggested by my brother to make a complain to the bank manager, but I didn't. I should have.

So a few weeks pass in between and there was peace and silence, I forgot the incident and very conveniently forgot the number as well. And then, I get a call, not recognizing the number I answered the phone and - boom - the same person is calling; timing, around 6 in the evening. He introduced himself by saying "I wanted to discuss the opening of your bank account." My reply, "Since when do you call people after office hours from your personal phones to convince them about the bank accounts. I find it highly unethical that you are calling me at this time, and it is my decision whether I want to open an account at your branch or not. I don't want to be contacted in future." Thus I hung up.

I haven't received any calls after that, but that one call somehow, stopped me from visiting the branch, therefore making it very difficult for me to handle my own account - as I was either going to the branches that were away from my home, and costed me time and fare to reach there. I still fear someone keeping an eye on my transactions. Simply, I was scared of facing that man. I did not want his attention (I am very selective about whose attention I want). I didn't want to receive extra nice treatment or any phone calls.

I now realize why Sharmeen Obaid Chinoy found that Doctor's move annoying. This seemingly little incident had such negative effect on my freedom of handling my bank transactions with confidence and made me suffer from this inexplicable fear. This seemingly little phone call on his part, which he must have forgotten about, caused me anxiety and bouts of depression for few months. Until yesterday, when I took a day off from studying, talked myself into going to the bank, considered a possibility of going to the branch ten minutes drive away from home, or depositing it the next day at some other branch on my way to work, and asking my brother to deposit it for me, I decided to go. I asked a friend to practically tell me to go. And I went. And nothing happened. But I was scared. My heart raced the entire time (25 minutes to be exact). I am a grown, independent, and a very confident woman. If this causes me so much trouble, just imagine what it will be causing the girls who are just starting out.

Men need to understand that if we smile, we are being kind and not flirting, if I write my phone number it is not to be called on, we can make our own decisions and not be advised by every tom, dick and harry.

this is harassment and this needs to stop!

Sugandh

Jeaye Sassui

Sassui was daughter of a king, who didn't want her, because someone predicted that she would marry a man from another cast (or a muslim), so he puts her in a box and send her adrift in the river. She was caught by a washerman near bhambhor. He raised her like a daughter of his own. As it happens, she was very pretty - thus the name Sassui (meaning moon) - When she grew up she helped her father in his business.

One day a passing by prince of Kech Makran- Punhoo -  got a glimpse of her and instantly fell in love. He pretended to be washerman to get close to the Father of Sassui. As it happens, he didn't know anything of trade and damaged the clothes that came to him, he would hide coins in the damaged clothes to keep people from complaining. And one day he ran out of money, but he learnt the trade by then. He asked for Sassui's hand in marriage and was accepted. On his wedding night he admits the truth to Sassui. They both were deeply in love with each other.

And as fate would have it, Punhoo's brothers came looking for him and discovered him washing dirty laundry of other people. They asked him to come back with him, but he refused. so they pretended to accept his wedding and arranged a party for the bride and groom. they drugged the people in party and kidnapped Punhoo and took him back to Kech...

When Sassui wakes up she finds her husband gone. she asks people about him and was told that he was taken back by his brothers. She decides to go in pursuit of her beloved. Her friends tried to dissuade her, but she told them that if they loved her, they would help her find him and not stop him.

She had to cross the mountains and deserts to get to Kech. During her journey she realizes that she has started seeing Punhoo everywhere and that she has turned in him, while looking for him. Eventually she meets a shepherd - who tried to take her for his bride - Sassui prays to be saved from him. The earth opens and takes Sassui inside, thus saving her from the intentions of the shepherd.

On the other hand when Punhoo regained his senses, he realizes that he is not where he ought to be. He runs away again to be united with his wife. On his way to Bhambore, he passes by a grave and sees a man crying. he askes him what is wrong? The person is the shepherd. he tells him that he found a beautiful bride in the desert by she was swallowed by the earth. Punhoo recognizes the corner of the scarf as Sassui's and prays to be reunited with his beloved. The earth opens and take him in too. The shepherd builds a tomb for them...

now listen to this song. feel the pain and desperation of the singer. the lament on the fate of Sassui. Feel love of Sassui for Punhoo. Feel the desperation when asking Sassui to live...

Be Sassui with the song

https://www.facebook.com/nafsband/videos/1196554737144805/?hc_ref=ARRz_n_wnXXugNSGu6buSBGkIvpPfk1I-0VR8Of_fRIcJuM_cVwLmxW7avsu4XYWEk8

The lyrics are translated in the video. Give a shout out to the band for being amazing.
Sugandh