Confusion Unlimited II

life has often brought me to cross roads, where i am to choose only one path for the rest of my life... difficult choice and i have record of not doing so good at these cross roads...

i might not be counted as a complete failure, but i have yet to reach my potential but given my previous records of troubles and failures, i am again with doubt about my course of action. i tried to get advice from a friend and he suggested that i should get married. i asked him with...? he said doesn't matter, so i suggested a guy and he thought it was not the best course of action and diverted the discussion to studies...

but i wonder for how long i'll be able to study and give myself a world of assignments and quizzes to live in? i have to face the real world! someday!

but then the question is what is the real world? if only i could find out the answer to this question! the ideas and morals of the 'real world' out there does not humor me, in fact, my own mother think that i need to change my ideas! well, i dunno about that! i like my ideas fine enough...

so the question still lingers, what am i to do in future? and what is the real world?


Sugandh

Unexist

i know that there is not such word as 'unexist' in English language, but i have thought about it often!

it is a feeling when you just don't really want to die, but you want to unexist - never existed!
it is just opposite of existing like undoing of baby development

you stop breathing, your blood circulation stops, your mind stops working and then you start loosing parts of your body, your lungs disappear, your brain, your limbs, your heart beat stops and all you turn into is a tiny speck like the first day in your mother's womb, and then  - nothing - you are not physically there, your memories are not there, the world has no imprint of you, it is just like you have never existed! - you have unexisted yourself!



Sugandh